Obedience and Marriage

First blog of 2015! I am so excited, as I have made a commitment to posting a weekly blog. It is my hope that you are blessed by the fun, straight forward and candid thoughts from the gals! To start off the year strong, I have picked an exciting topic.


 ...how, how, how is this so hard?! Just to set the stage I am not talking about my children, though this sheds some light on why children have a hard time with obedience this blog post is all about ...dare I say it "women/wives OBEYING their husbands!" not to sound to mid-evil but it's true ladies. I'm not saying we have to scrub the grout with toothbrushes (unless that's your thing of course)  But we all know what I mean --- our sweet and sometimes not so sweet husbands ask us to do ANYTHING- like " Go take a bubble bath"  something we would normally love to do, but OH NO "can't he see I am knee deep in doing something!" Or lets pick something else like "lock the doors" he requests. It's about being safe, he's not ordering, he's not pushing, he wants you too be safe. So why, why is it so hard to just do it?

Well to start off, it began in the beginning..."the fall" Genesis 3:16
"...your desire will be for your husband and he rule over you."

This is HHARRDD! Hard to swallow. I once heard a pastor talk about the "desire" not being a physical want, though there is that aspect, but "desire" actually meaning we, women will COVAT,WANT, PlOT, HOPE for his position as the leader of your family!  I won't even begin to discuss the ramifications of these thoughts in a professional or career sense. (As I have 17yrs of thoughts on that front...)

"Leader" indirectly of course, we want to be the puppet masters.... Or so we think. We have been DECEIVED in believing from
Our parents, our friends
        The news, social media
               Comic strips, sitcoms
                     Society in general
                             COMPLETE STRANGERS

That we ladies are "RIGHT", we are thinkers, planners, multi-taskers, overachievers, creative geniuses and the world would collapse or at least OUR worlds would collapse, if we dared for 1 SPLIT SECOND TO KEEP OUR MOUTH SHUT.  Ok well maybe really it's just me.

All of this eye opening food for thought is really a result of a conference I just attended, if I was honest with myself it really has been long in the making ---like since child hood where I lived in this strange 1/2 world of submission yet strong independence.

As a great result of this conference full of spiritual powerhouse women, I felt The Lord reveal to my heart several BIG UGLY spots, imparticularly my mean spirited attitude toward my hubby. Now, I'm not saying this attitude is happening all the time but little by little I felt it slowly building up. A great example was my hubby saying so sweetly "just come on home don't worry about the groceries" and it took all my mental faculties to keep my car on the road.

All I could think was "No, I'll just do it my way" and "my reasons are better, I'll just do it" and I even kept saying "he really won't care if I stop, it's no big deal " but it was. Do I NOT have 1 submissive bone in my body? He hadn't seen me in 3days, or his baby boy. Can't I just let him have his way ONCE in a while.  It really had nothing to do with him getting his way and everything to do with my heart. You will be happy to know I did manage to just go home.

However, my sweet Savior revealed to me that my obedience is CRITICAL, hear me now CRITICAL not in the success of my marriage, my happiness, my life but rather it is in the direct path of my children.  How will they respect and obey me, their father, the kind of wife's/husbands they will marry-
I mean can you imagine having some person (in my case some woman, as I have 4 boys) glare, belittle, argue, sass, backstab or disrespect those precious children of yours- NO WAY!!!!

Now, I feel like I do a pretty great job obeying my savior, Jesus Christ.... Well at least on all the really important stuff.
I mean when was the last time I stole a car? Never REALLY never.

But is that the rule Jesus really really cares about? Probably not. If we are being "haters" to this man who lives in our house, who we pledged to love,respect,care for whether 2 days. 2yrs or 30yrs ago.  OH - that hit it, do we "love" really love the kind that goes beyond feeling the flutter in our stomach; really love this man of ours? Or far more important, do we really love our Savior, Jesus Christ? Do we really LOVE Jesus? Not cause of how we feel after a good worship song or after we witness someone healed without explanation BUT really love Jesus even when we don't hear or feel Him. Do we allow HIS Spirit to reign in our hearts and rule over our mind? This is the same Spirit that calls us to forgive the unforgivable, this Spirit calls us to love people we don't even like.

Now, I know what you are thinking...she is one of "those ladies" those ladies "who candy apple smiles at everyone" and has never had a fit of rage that could cause small earth tremors. WRONG.

Your thinking "forgive", "love" easier said than done sister!
"You have, no idea what they've done, you have no clue how JUSTIFIED I am in being hurt, heart broken, crushed, totally, tee totally ticked off!!!"

And your right, I have no idea what your going through. I only know what I have been, what I have done that was totally UNJUSTIFIED , cruel, pig headed and flat, dead wrong!

I have come to find that Jesus, on a cursory glance of "not stealing a car" that Jesus won't help... BUT the Christ, who was and is perfect perfect, perfect who died the death I deserve, who bled for me long before I would walk my SINFUL little life, this Jesus, my Jesus and His all powerful Spirit, the Spirit that rules the nations, that sees all my ugliness- He lives within me, He massages my broken heart, he seals my mind, He loves me and He FORGAVE ME!

This spirit makes my heart leap and He shows me how to obey my husband's very, very small requests.

The Holy Spirit shows me how to say "yes or okay " and mean it and He removes the "no" that wants to spit nails ...
He removes the bitterness as far as the east is from the west!

All Glory to my God and Savior friend for revealing His truth to me.


  • Thank you for your honest thoughts on a hard subject I don’t like thinking about because I struggle too. Obedience to our husbands is obedience to God and sometimes that is frightening and we want to run like Jonah. Thanks

  • I, for one, can vouch that Alegra is absolutely not one of those ladies “who candy apple smiles at everyone”… ;-) Great message Alegra. I am someone who was brought up with a great deal of faith, but whose faith has dwindled over the years. Still, I really like the idea of it, admire it greatly in others, and I still pray when in need (and no, not for things like the Powerball).

    Anyway, great message, and thank you.

  • It is those little acts of obedience and respect that show the sweetest relationship with our Savior. It is that unoffendabel heart that is sooooooooo attractive to our children and others. Love you Alegra!

  • thank you!! I needed this!!!

    Dana Thrash
  • What a powerful message! I could hear the Spirit all through it! Thanks for the wonderful reminder!


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